Saturday, January 31, 2009

Too funny.

I cried.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/982950921.html

Just Because...

Friday, January 30, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

A miracle.....

I was talking to a classmate of mine about the use of really graphic violent and sexual content in plays and film and whether it is cheap or profound. I think an overwhelming amount of graphic material better have a BIG point or else it is just a festival of profanity.

One movie that comes to mind, that does extreme grossness with a very high message, is "Requiem for a Dream."

But this is hard to pull off. Most people just write things to be sensational, thinking they have a point, but just come off as unimaginative and crude. So I prefer to do humane stories sprinkled with profanity.

Lately, my writing has changed a great deal. I am currently drafting a play of mine about Cupid. And there is lots of blood and arrows and crying and just lots of blood. And it ends badly. But then, looking at my past work, this is nothing new. All my plays usually end in tragedy that usually signify a better tomorrow.


Case in point...

"Joe"- story about a writer, his characters end up killing themselves with a gun. He in turn goes outside his apartment to actually live his life.

"Red Umbrellas"- Rosa cries. That's it. She breaks down in public. She gets a hug though....

"F-Stop"- I think someone got pushed off a cliff....

"Frozen Grapes"- the people at the subway are really pissed and decide to kill the subway worker.

"Sera"- It's about Pompeii and Vesuvius. They all die.

"Middlecrest"- A cop shoots himself in the foot, a girl is imprisoned and spits in a boy's face, and a woman is buried alive.

"Dream of Bee"- she decides he is an asshole, she leaves him, the forest turns dark and he basically dies

"Click Click"- he can't stop changing the channels, she leaves him, he clicks the remote at his head

"Cult of Cupid" draft #1- She stabs her love with an arrow, Cupid comes and takes it back, he retires from this world thus love is dead.


So...for the first time I have decided to write a love story. WITH a happy ending.

Now, in Angela terms this is not all sunshine, roses, and fucking happy unicorns.

There will still be some horrible things in there, people have to work for it. BUT I am going to end a play with the guy getting the girl.

It's a New Year...why the hell not?


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Winter terms

Some of you may have heard there is a crazy ice storm that goes from the plains to the east. So from Ohio to New England.

Now, it has taken me some time to get the terms down but I now know winter lingo.

Now Ms. Santillo presents you:

WINTER VOCABULARY FOR DUMMIES

Snow fall- whimsical floating flakes. They create powdery inches that are easily shoveled.

Snow pile- a mound of snow that without warning eats your boots. The bastard child of snow fall.

Ice- not to be confused with hail. Looks like sugar falling from the sky. But do not be naive, ice leads to slick roads. You could die.

Walkways and roads- previously safe asphalt pathways. Under snow they are white lanes with track marks, with ice they are bowling lanes of death. Any sort of incline with either snow or ice will cause your car to slide and your boots to stop working. Death is certain.

Rain and snow- leads first to a cocktail like substance on the ground. Think like a really dirty icy slushy. Than the rain hardens on the snow and the snow becomes hard shaving cream piles of death. It's snow, but it looks like it was shellacked with spray paint or something. It is shiny snow of death. Cause you step in and you will eat shit. You walk slowly through it and you will eat shit. You avoid it and out of spite the snow gods will make you eat shit. Death. Death. Death.

Wintery mix- snow, ice, rain. Basically there is not hope. You will die.

Whoaaaa- What you say at least every five minutes walking outside.

Ohhhhh- What you say ever ten minutes while your car spins out.

Fuck me- What you say every time you walk into a building from the cold.


So currently the weather here is slush central, shit rain, with high potential for mounds of death to appear by five. Lots of Whooassss, an abnormal amount of Ooohhhhs and a fuck mes increasing frequency by early evening.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Good thoughts for Charlotte

I am not sure if you all know about a site called Caring Bridge.

It is basically a blog site for those going through life changing events (ie surgeries, traumas, deaths, etc.)

Anyways, a friend of mine from SLC found out that a little girl she used to nanny is currently in the hospital. She is about four years old and has a brain tumor.

Now, seeing how I am an recovering Catholic I am not asking ya'll to pray but if you could send out some good vibes, it wouldn't hurt.

She has already had surgery last week and has to have another surgery on Thursday.

You can follow her story here: www.caringbridge.org/visit/charlottereynolds

What if feels like to audition

I went into a semi-induced retirement from acting for about four years. It was for various reasons, the biggest ones being I had a million jobs in San Francisco and I didn't have any confidence left to get out there.

So I am auditioning again which means I am acting again. This weekend was general auditions at school, I had to watch all seven hours of them cause I am directing but I also auditioned.

First off, do you know how stressful it is to audition? They have done stress studies on fighter pilots and actors and they find that more stress and adrenaline is found in actors who are about to go on stage. Take that and chew on it!

For those who aren't in theater, this is a quick overview of what seven hours and two hundred actors looks like:
-80% of the auctioneers are girls
-The men usually do monologues where they yell
-The women do monologues where they usually cry
-One in every 20 people forget their lines and look like they are going to cry as they ask if they can start over again
-Some people try to make small talk with the 30 people who are casting. This is never a successful tactic and leads to a moment of awkwardness.
-Hardly any actress does a monologue where she is not weak, hurt, upset at a man
-Hardly any actor does a monologue where he is in love, happy, not macho
-90% of the actresses stand like this during their monologues:



So after this weekend I basically don't want to see anymore upset twenty something girls standing with their hands on their hips. That my friends, is not acting. That is a Friday night during high school.

So for my audition I chose to be Phaedra and a hormonal nine month pregnant woman. You wanna stand out at an audition so I was a mean queen who was in love with her stepson and a terrifyingly hormonal momma to be.

So what is it like to audition?
-Your heart goes crazy. Think John Henry is in there with a sledgehammer and you also just drank a gallon of coffee.
-You have to pretend to be calm. You can't shake, you have to think "do not blush", and you have to not gesture obsessively like you are Italian or something.
-You are in constant fear that you will forget your first line. You have to assure yourself that you do know the first line. You have to repeat it like it's a holy mantra.
-You have to ignore the 30 people who are sitting there, expressionless, quickly writing down on pads of paper. They don't matter. They are just casting everything.
-You have to play yourself as well as the characters. So basically, "Hi, my name is Angela. I am like the funnest person you could ever know. Look at how cool and talented I am. You so want to work with me!"
-No matter how bad it went or how good you feel, you have to tell everyone "Thank you" at the end in a way that makes them think of sunshine and rainbows and the happiest rides at Disneyland while still looking like I am so cool that tomorrow I could start a fashion trend just by rolling out of bed.

And that my friends is what auditioning is about. If you bomb that, you could have all the talent in the world but you will never get cast.

No pressure, fo sho.

It is so goddamn cold

It's in the teens here.

Actually, it is in the mid 30s but with this horrible wind it feels like the teens.

Thought you would like to know that I am goddamn cold.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Proof that the end is near...

The Vatican has their own youtube channel.


http://www.youtube.com/vaticanit


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

And because I said it...

Now it is in my head.

(See below post.)

Remember "Show Me Love?"

By Robyn..back in 8th grade?

Well I don't think I have let you know how amazing she STILL is.

She is so goddamn cool and she has this *new album

*not really so new but new to you.

Check it.




The inauguration from space...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Anyone else remember this?

Or is it just me?

Shameless Self Promotion

So...as you may know or may not know I have started a theater company in the Bay Area.

And we MIGHT be doing a show this summer depending on a lot of things like grants, the economy, my sanity.

But regardless we have a website. I know. My god. It's official.

So check it.


blackcanarytheater.org

Monday, January 19, 2009

Happy MLK Day.....?

1:32 is where the gettin' starts gettin' good.


Watch CBS Videos Online

A good day for some dobbie...

Brothers that is.


What I saw when I woke up this morning...


My stoop...is somewhere in this picture


My street, slip hazards galore.


At school, by the library.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I can't see your future....but they can

I thought I would pass along some fun horoscope websites that have been useful to me in the past, you know, in case you got nothing to do this MLK holiday.

So for daily horoscopes bridgettwalther.com is ah-mazing.
And she says this week everyone is going to treat me like a goddess. Of course she is going to be right.

Then for monthly horoscopes go to the scarily accurate susanmiller.com.

THEN if you really want to get all cosmic you can go to alabe.com/freechart/ to get your free astrological chart.
It will tell you all sorts of things, like rising signs and all the other planets as well.


Enjoy!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Rock of Love

On the plane, I discovered Rock of Love.

Have you seen this stupid piece of trash show?

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Gotta hate it love it need it kill it.

Angela's Adventures in Glass

Landed during a snow storm on Saturday. The cabbie who took me home asked if I skied when I went home to California. I laughed. Angela does lots of things but strapping herself to high tech plastic going down hills of snow are not her thing.

He then started talking about the quality of snow, an east coast vs. west coast comparison if you will. He said east coast was too icy to ski on.

I had no idea what he meant.

Then Sunday came.

Now I have shoveled snow, scraped it from my windshield, basically snow and I are still in the honeymoon phase. But then I come out on Sunday and that snow had turned to ice.

My car first off looked like it was an ice cube. It took 20 minutes to scrap the dude. There were icicles hanging off of EVERYTHING. License plate, side mirrors, etc. The tires where even frozen to the street and when tried to drive away it sounded like glass being shattered.

I did my duty as a considerate neighbor and shoveled the walkway when I got home but the next morning it was basically a skating rink. I have still not fallen but I have been sliding. Who needs a sled when you have an iced stoop.

There is still snow on the ground but there is a layer of ice over everything. So when you walk you don't sink, you may small footprints and every step sounds like you are stepping over glass bottles.

So all day today I keep hearing Annie Lennox's song "Walking on Broken Glass" cause that is what it is like around here. I think she has been to New York in the winter.

And it is 80 something right now in LA. Truth be told, I like my glass.


Just Because....

Story Pirates!

There is this group Story Pirates. They teach creative writing to little kids and perform their pieces to show them the power of words and personal stories.

I just discovered them, they are of course on youtube. (For it is no secret I have a wee addiction to the site.)

Being a writer and artist, anyone who teaches kids the power of the creative spirit deserves a dozen cookies in my book.

Here is one of their clips, it makes me cry. Don't know why. I may be hormonal or something.

Swagger

Happy New Year to the three of you who are probably still reading my blog. More power to ya...

I survived another California holiday although this year was the most intense ever. It was almost three weeks of constant food and company. Back in New York now, haven't eaten for two days and I am still full. I think that is probably some sort of Chinese torture, the constant consumption of food which is forced upon you by loved ones.

So some people I know have new years resolutions to lose weight, take responsibility, reconnect with family, blah blah blah.

Mine is to develop my swagger.

What is swagger you may ask? Well, after carefully consulting urbandictionary.com (the site most successful at getting you to waste time) swagger is:
1. The confidence exuded as a reflection of ones dress, shoe game, attitude, and how one handles a situation.
2. Whatever it is that makes women want you and men wanna be you.
3. An extremely drunk Irish man.
4. The politically correct version of the word 'milkshake'. How a person carries themself.

Swagger for me would be the combination of my milkshake and shoe game which was upgraded by a fierce purchase of leather boots that were 70% off.

And if you want to see swagger in action just watch this. (So yes, basically in 09 I want to become Jay-Z.)