-My mom will take me out to dinner or lunch and ask me if I know any good guys.
-My mom will then try to define what single quality of mine deflects men like UV sunglasses do harmful rays.
-My dad will call me from Costco to see if I like ______. Today he seriously needed to know if I like pork ribs.
-I will drink way too much coffee over breakfast.
-I will schedule meal dates with my aunt, my grandmother, my friends from third grade, my friend from college, and any other lucky SOB who can squeeze in my limited day visit.
-I will drive down the 101 and get horrid flashbacks of me in high school in my catholic schoolgirl uniform. And any flashback of me in high school is usually not the most pleasant.
-I will see a psychic on Ventura Blvd. I will ask about work, my art, and some guy-in that order. Last psychic had to point out "how Capricorn" that was of me.
-My parents will have a serious conversation about theater that usually goes...."What are you going to do with your future? How much do theater people make? What does that mean?" They usually get very quiet at this point and then look at me like I am possessed.
-I will watch an unhealthy amount of "Jon and Kate Plus Eight," "Deadliest Catch," "Intervention," and "Charmed" cause my parents have cable.
-My mom will read me my horoscope from the Ventura Star. Today's said I had two stars. My mom suggested I stay in the house with a day rating like that.
-I will stare at photos in the hallways and think "My god...I looked like that when I was 1/2/3/4/10/16/18?"
3 comments:
You forgot to mention:
-I hone my voice over skills acting as a GPS system in my friend's car, Ruby.
-I rate men in a dive bar with some of my oldest friends, before watching the same friends stumble down Hollywood Blvd. and eat pizza at 2:30 a.m. like it's the most amazing thing they've ever eaten.
Dude, seriously....
That WAS the most amazing pizza I've ever eaten.
You remember the pizza? You don't remember me kissing you but you remember the pizza.
That is fair.
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