RED DRESS!

A critical look at the Jonas Brothers.

Because really, it is good to be critical of our current cultural super stars and there is nothing like listening to the Jonas Brothers and thanking all the gods in all the heavens that I am no longer thirteen years old.

And I do not choose to listen the them, I haven't bought an album, I don't watch television, but they are on the radio. On the top 40 to be exact.

And in my teenie bopper years, I can't recall being crazy about any particular group. I remember dancing like a maniac to LaBouche but that is about it. (And that was kick ass liquid latex goodness so you can't hate.)

But the Jonas Brothers, when they come on the radio, I can't change it because I listen to their whinny pubescent voices and can't understand who would listen to this shit and find it enjoyable. There is no quality, it is like nails on glass. I mean, if young people think this is art then we are all headed to a very bad place. But then again what quality are thirteen years old looking for but good hair and cool clothes, the typical Disney hero.

But I never change the station when "Burnin' Up" plays on the radio because of the gem that explains why this group is so life threatening.

So go to 1:05 and stop once you see Joe massage his pretend mustache. (A gross misuse of this gesture by the way.)




You want to kill yourself right? The idea of a sexy red dress seems like a death sentence. You are thinking, "Man, if chickens could sing they would sound like that."

Now go jump over some lasers and pop your trench coat collar. Cause I just blogged about JB.

The end is near.