So if any of you plan to drive out there, there are somethings you should now.
EUREKA!
Location: New Jersey
1. WTF is an expressway?
There are no freeways really, just these things called expressways. What is an expressway? I have no freakin' idea but here are the likely signs you are on one:
-it is a four lanes with a divider in the middle
-the speed limit is 45 or 50 but the locals drive 70
-it looks like a street, it acts like a street, but it has exits sometimes and ends up in an intersection other times
-the merges are kamikaze maneuvers that even the locals fail at, MISERABLY
-it leaves you feeling pissed, irritated, and your life flashes before your eyes at least twice.
2. Lane markers are for pussies
There are very little dividers for lanes. So is it one? Is it two? Where do you stop at the light? Are we merging?
NY likes to keep you proactive. Make your own way, and if you get side swiped or end up in the middle of the intersection, it's all good.
3. Pedestrians just appear
And they don't care if you are driving towards them.
4. Honking
If you stop to avoid hitting a pedestrian, if you are trying to make a left hand turn, if you are going the speed limit, if you are trying to park, if you are slowing down for an exit, someone will blow their horn at you and on every other occasion break out into a convulsion fits.
And grown men shaking steering wheels while cussing you out with their hands is the perfect cherry to any day.
5. Tolls
Appear at random. In the middle of an expressway, at the beginning of a tunnel, in the middle of a bridge. And they range from $5-10 AND they charge you both ways. So if you miss your exit and have to go through a toll, you gotta go back through it and kiss your grande soy latte and pumpkin muffin for the morning goodbye.
6. Flushing, Japan Town
Should only be driven if you have a death wish. Especially cause the bus drivers act like the are driving sports cars.
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